The Republican Party

In 2008, Republicans couldn’t think of anything worse than to call somebody a terrorist, and so, after much thoughtful deliberation, they decided it would be best for the country if that’s what they called Obama.

Years passed, and many a terrorist fist jab later, it turned out that our nation’s turnip fields were not beset with the predicted wave upon wave of 9/11s. The terrorist label eventually lost its luster, and so Republicans and their allies decided white people needed something somehow scarier — and slightly more plausible — to live in constant fear of.

And now here we all are in 2020, where every half-baked conspiracy involves someone they don’t like being a pedophile.