Skip to main content

Version 1.0

This is Version 1.0 of Illtron.net.

Look, this site started out as a very run-of-the-mill blog in 2002 before it evolved into the content powerhouse it is today. The bulk of this stuff is old, and it’s not all great. A lot of it is downright cringe-worthy. But is all here — for what that’s worth.

This archive collects everything from July 31, 2002 through August 31, 2005, when this site ran on MovableType and TypePad.

The TypePad archive, which is a slight detour from the main content, collects those posts in one place.

  • How to move up a caste

    So a really stupid plagiarist sent an IM to Nate completely out of the blue, wanting him to write a paper on the caste system in India.

  • Make it stop

    Larry the Cable Guy is not funny.

  • A Week of Kindness

    I made it to A Week of Kindness’s first show on Saturday night.

  • Ice cold!

    Here’s what Little Niagara looks like in the winter.

  • Jacko!

    There’s either very little or an infinite amount of humor in this, I can’t decide

  • MacWorld impressions

    It’s the time of year that I get all depressed because my lowly salary doesn’t allow me to buy whatever new device/software/service Steve Jobs has telepathically commanded me to buy.

  • “spam, spam, spam!”

    So far, I haven’t gotten any comment spam here, but this incarnation of the site is still young.

  • Goodbye, Ken

    Ken Jennings is about to lose on Jeopardy! Here’s what’s going to happen:

  • Scratch one more

    So I tried to get creative and set up Kung-Tunes to list my current iTunes track.

  • Remember me

    I can add one item to the list of things to do for the site redesign and then scratch it and another.

  • Some stuff

    Thanksgiving. What a fun time.

  • New design

    Happy days are here again!

  • Comments are on

    Comments are now turned on. Let the spam begin!

  • This’ll shut you up

    It will shut a great many of you up to hear that I am working on a design for this site.

  • So you wanna be president?

    I get the feeling that thanks to Karl Rove and his beautiful way of twisting facts, no senator can run for president anytime soon.

  • Hey America

    Note to self: Stick to the issues, Chris!

  • Purple is the new black and blue

    Ok, so there was this incredibly inane article in The Patriot-News today about this woman who likes the color purple.

  • Top of the charts

    I was inspired by a story I read on Yahoo! News about pro-war country songs, so I decided to write something.

  • MT 3 Test

    Yeah, so Six Apart is apparently evil now, but I’m giving MT 3 a whirl just the same.

  • Cleveland rocks

    Oh, so I’m going to Cleveland with Rick and Little to see Radiohead tonight.

  • Who you gonna call?

    Hey kiddies, CNN.com is reporting that U.S. forces in Iraq have captured the ghost of Chemical Ali.

  • I need to start getting paid

    Just the prospect of eventually having some disposable income has got me planning out my purchases for the foreseeable future.

  • Blame Canada!

    Well, there was no mass looting and rioting during the blackouts — except in Canada.

  • I’m not the only one

    I wasn’t the only one to get hit by Microsoft’s ineptitude, I mean, that virus this week.

  • TypePad

    Here’s a gripe… there are these great little buttons in TypePad, right above the text area where I type my posts.

  • Where’d you go?

    I suddenly have next to zero traffic, and nobody has commented since last week.

  • Work

    I got the job at PennLive.com!

  • Jobby-job update

    Well I think PennLive has checked all of my references, so I hope to hear back from them soon regarding an offer, a second interview, or a rejection.

  • Comcast

    Yesterday was the first day of working in the new offices for Comcast Advertising Sales, where I work, so I figure that I’ll talk about it a little bit.

  • $$BLING$$

    Well I went all out today and decided that TypePad is worth paying for.

  • I couldn’t resist

    I was overcome by the old temptation to bitch about someone else’s article. Here we go…

  • Old Home Week 2003

    Well, well well. It’s that time of year again — Old Home Week.

  • You so funny!

    Apparently I was quoted in a news article, talking about the former Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Said al-Sahaf.

  • OK, so I lied

    Well, I lied about being in bed by 9 last night.

  • So tired

    I need more sleep. I’m in bed by 9 tonight. I swear.

  • $$BLING$$

    I wonder if it’s a bad thing that I’ve already got my first paycheck planned out

  • I lived

    So I survived my first week of work at Comcast.

  • Work

    So I had my first day at Comcast today.

  • Did it again

    Today (well, yesterday) was another one of those days where I kept looking at TypePad, yet never actually posted anything.

  • Aviators

    You may notice the new picture of me on this site.

  • What day is it again?

    I got my free hot dogs, which was the bare minimum I needed for it to be a good time.

  • I’m out like stout

    Well kids, it’s time for me to hit the road if I ever want to get to Arts Fest.

  • I wish…

    I wish TypePad integrated the MTEntryIfComments plugin functionality.

  • Jobbed!

    Well the temp agency called me back today — I got the position with Comcast.

  • Riot act

    Come on people, let’s all do the right thing.

  • Photo albums

    I think you’ll see me making a lot more Photo albums than I would have previously with Movable Type.

  • TypePad Beta

    Hey kids, ol’ Illtron was selected as a beta tester for TypePad.

  • Moblog?

    If it doesn’t break first, this post is being sent from my phone. Pretty cool.

  • First post!

    Well, well, well. Lookie at who got picked to help beta test TypePad.

  • My bad

    I hate it when I’m wrong.

  • Spiders

    You may already know that I hate spiders.

  • It’s happy fun balls!

    Danielle pointed a link over to this site, where it tells you about your brain or something.

  • Guest post!

    Apparently, Illtron is too busy screwing up easy mac and cleaning the pool to grace us with his presence.

  • Hey look over there!

    So I’ve been in Philly for a few weeks now, and I’m still not employed.

  • Eh

    So I don’t have the chance to get on here very often right now, nor do I have much to write about anyway.

  • Apple Store

    This one goes out to M3, crayz, cdevroe, and all the other geeks out there reading.

  • Reality, distorted

    When Steve Jobs speaks, people listen; often against all logic.

  • iTunes 4

    In case you haven’t heard by now, Apple introduced a new music service on Monday that lets you buy music on a per-song or per-album basis through the new version of iTunes.

  • Just shut up, ok?

    All right, so the redesign is coming along slowly but surely.

  • Apparently I’m a something

    I took this quiz a few minutes ago. It’s supposed to tell you what religion you are or something.

  • I need more sleep

    After five days of sleeping on various air mattresses, floors, and other non-comfortable things that people who are not in their own home tend to sleep on, I’m absolutely exhausted.

  • The uberGeeks

    Today is the official launch of The uberGeeks, the brainchild of Colin Devroe and Chris Fehnel.

  • And now for something new

    I’m doing an awful lot of this web page stuff today, when I should probably be drinking or getting fat or something.

  • SIGH

    There’s nothing quite as great as banned books. Just the entire concept is amazing to me.

  • Watch out!

    There’s a few things on my mind, but nothing so great as to trouble you, both of my readers.

  • It’s worse than i thought…

    Wow, if you haven’t read the full text of Rick Santorum’s interview with the AP, you don’t know what you’re missing.

  • Look what I stole

    It gives absolutely no indication as to what will happen if you steal the sticker, so I stole it.

  • Evil? Yum!

    Hey everybody, Nate has a weblog now too!

  • Snood

    This somehow eluded me for the better part of three weeks.

  • The obvious

    So are all the housewife-blogs abuzz?

  • Gimme some mo

    The Washington Post held an online Q&A session with Mo Rocca of The Daily Show today, and I got the first question in.

  • Music

    This is kind of cool. It seems that Apple may be buying Vivendi Universal Music for possible inclusion in an upcoming online music service.

  • 24

    Hey, I’ll be damned if it’s not my birthday!

  • Kung-Log 1.4 Test

    I’m just testing out the new image capabilities in Kung-Log 1.4. I love this app.

  • Best quote of the war

    There is concern that Saddam Hussein could turn up from time to time, like some sort of evil Elvis.

  • Al-Sahaf

    I have to say that Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the Iraqi Information Minister gets the Illtron award for best comedy.

  • Welcome to Kiel

    I was looking for pictures of the Brandenburg Gate the other day, and it reminded me that I have a whole bunch of pictures of Germany.

  • Love CNN; not so crazy about CNN.com

    Last night, I watched the CNN crew embedded with the 3-7th infantry find and give medical assistance to a wounded Iraqi soldier near Saddam International Airport.

  • Damn hippie!

    I should probably mention, though it is belated, that Danielle has branched off, and formed her own cult.

  • Ugh

    Last night at work I attempted to pick up a really heavy TV stand box. It probably weighed about 100 lb. I am now in pain.

  • The super-secret project

    I’ve never really built a dynamic site like this before, and it’s far more complicated and ambitious than anything else that I’ve done in the past.

  • Separated at birth?

    I just thought the similarities here were striking, and felt the need to share.

  • Shock and awe?

    All right, so this war hasn’t been exactly chock full of the shock and awe that we were promised.

  • The war on TV

    As a journalist who has never been employed as such, I find it hard to watch this war on TV and think about it as an American.

  • Check this out

    Al Gore appointed to Apple’s board of directors.

  • Beware the Ides of March

    You never know, Brutus and Cassius might just sneak up behind you and kill you… or you might have to go to work at Best Buy.

  • Blah, etc.

    I’m definitely not holding my breath for that full-time position, so I think it’s safe to say that I’m quitting.

  • Just a note for myself

    For the last few days, I’ve been redesigning some pages on the super-secret project, and I’m finally back to where I started.

  • I’m still alive

    Yeah, yeah, updates, whatever. I’ve got better things to do.

  • Update-free Illtron

    Sorry for the lack of updates, kiddies, but I’ve been extremely busy lately.

  • Thanks

    I want to thank everyone who commented on my post about Mike.

  • Mike the dog

    One morning in July of 1988, my sisters woke me up and told me that we got a dog.

  • Update

    After that last post, I think we need to update the score.

  • Game time

    It’s time to get your game faces on, people.

  • Thursday: The morning after

    I was never more correct than when I said that no self-respecting weekend starts any later than Thursday.

  • Finally Thursday!

    Everyone knows that no self-respecting weekend starts any later than Thursday.

  • Pants!

    I don’t think my current pants will last much longer.

  • Just a test

    OK, my test was a failure… or a success. It’s hard to say. At any rate, here’s Danielle’s ass.

  • Something awful

    Now that I think about it, this might be kind of awesome actually.

  • Recovery

    The story of the recovery of the banner…

  • Wow, North Korea

    OK, everybody knows that the guy with the big hair in North Korea is nuts.

  • Beware the wrath of Phroth!

    Just a few minutes ago, I received a call from none other than Douche Bagalow himself, Matt Little.

  • Finally Wednesday!

    I realize I’m poor, but even I can afford $10 for a CD-RW drive.

  • Tonight’s the night!

    Just in case you’ve been living in a cave, I feel obligated to inform everyone that tonight’s the last episode of Joe Millionaire, or as I like to call it, the greatest series finale of all time.

  • The story of my web life

    Danielle decided to share the brief, though touching history of her web design experience. I’m left with no choice but to follow suit.

  • CNN sucks

    How do they allow stuff like this to make it to their web site?

  • Sweeps what?

    It’s like the Wayne County Fair, but with more freaks. Well, not more freaks, just more potent freaks.

  • What did I miss?

    I drop off the face of the earth for 24 hours or so, and all kinds of crazy stuff happens!

  • Work? Work? Work???

    Wish Danielle luck, and don’t try to steal her pile of money.

  • Loading…

    Here’s a general rule of thumb: If a web site says “loading” at any point, you should get the hell out of there.

  • Another Friday

    I wonder how good my German was in that last post?

  • Man, I’m beat

    I’m too tired right now to post much, but I’ll give a rundown of the last 48 hours or so.

  • Still alive!

    Hey hey! It’s me! No, I’m not dead.

  • Hey, it’s January!

    I don’t know if this has been mentioned in the media at all, but it’s really cold outside.

  • The Bourne Identity

    I returned a movie I wasn’t going to watch today, and I picked up The Bourne Identity instead.

  • Not much to report

    Work wasn’t bad tonight. A guy gave me a $10 tip for helping him out. All I had to do was practically break my wrist getting it into his van in the 2º cold.

  • The Onion

    This week’s Onion isn’t bad.

  • Kung-Log

    This is just a test, but it’s more than that.

  • I need more responsibility

    I really think it’s time that Best Buy took the plunge and made me in charge of everything.

  • MLK Day

    Today is MLK Day.

  • B-list elite

    Well the Golden Globes are over with

  • What’s this?

    I didn’t like the idea of staying home while my friends were in State College gettin’ tore up all weekend.

  • Please help

    I’m trying to set up this stupid text counter, and the damn thing just won’t work

  • Gettin’ paid

    Someone posted a comment on my post about work from earlier, and I was just going to respond in another comment, but since it was getting long, I figured I’d make a whole post out of it.

  • Bring your batteries

    The New York Times has a nice article on the last game at The Vet, which will be played this Sunday.

  • I ran

    If there’s one thing that pisses me off (and there’s not just one, there are many), it would have to be improperly tagged MP3s.

  • Out of material

    I’ve run out of things to write about, and therefore I’m closing down the site.

  • Video games

    I must say, the Two Towers video game for PS2 is damn near as awesome as the movie.

  • Test

    I’m testing out the auto trackback…

  • A thought

    I just realized how random I’ve become.

  • Upgrade

    Upgrade your gray matter… 'cause one day it may matter…

  • I paid!

    Since I love Movable Type so much, and I had some money from failed hare-brained schemes sitting in my PayPal account, I decided to pay for this fine piece of software.

  • Even more Safari

    Right now I’m using Safari on a much faster connection than mine, and I have to say that it is definitely a lot faster than Chimera.

  • Stayin’ alive?

    This being a weblog, and weblogs being the the type of place where stuff like this gets written, I should probably mention that Bee Gee Maurice Gibb has died.

  • My camera

    I have no idea where my camera is.

  • More Safari

    I have to say that I’m really taking a liking to Safari.

  • Safari

    What kind of Mac weblog type guy would I be if I didn’t talk about Safari?

  • A snippet of conversation

    I’m like fucking Gandalf… the world would just fucking implode without me to set things straight.

  • MWSF

    Today marks the opening of Mac World San Francisco 2003.

  • Instead of sleep…

    Rather than sleeping, which is what I should be doing, I decided to do some work on the site.

  • I’m pissed off

    You know how I have a shitty job? Yeah, it just got shittier.

  • Joe Millionaire

    Unlike me, you probably spend a lot of time parked in front of the television

  • Camera fun

    I woke up approximately an hour and a half after I went to sleep, and about six hours before I intended to get up.

  • This man is funny

    If you don’t know who David Cross is, then you’re probably like most people.

  • Photo fun time!

    Digital photography — it’s like regular photography, only not as good and way more complicated.™

  • My new toy

    The best part of my trip to Philly had to be the fact that I finally got my new digital camera!

  • New Year’s Eve

    So I notice your house smells of feces. And not just monkey feces…

  • This is waaaaay overdue

    I know that plenty of people complain that laws like this one violate their rights, but I really don’t give a damn what they think.

  • Another change

    In addition to the new way of posting comments, I also added permalinks for each entry.

  • Christmas Day

    I’d have to say that this is definitely a first.

  • Christmas Eve

    One day until Christmas, not too bad.

  • Quality

    All right, so I sell stupid crap at Best Buy all day long.

  • It was a good trip

    I had a good trip to State College. It’s always a good trip to State College.

  • I did not forget!

    I thought I just forgot to update yesterday, but that’s not really it.

  • A big day

    I have a big day ahead of me today.

  • Almost there!

    I’ve nearly got this figured out! So close!

  • For an editor…

    Man, for an editor I sure do write pretty damn sloppy.

  • Have some standards, people!

    I’d just like to take this time to ask everyone out there reading to please, please encode your MP3s at no less than 128 kbps.

  • Still no luck

    I’m still working on getting these problems fixed.

  • It takes voodoo

    OK, I don’t know exactly what I did, but my new favorites icon is working.

  • Solid like a rokk

    OK, so yeah, I’m still making changes. It’s actually coming along quicker than I thought it would.

  • Under construction

    I’ve been overcome by ambition and some strange effects of the f’d up weather

  • If I were a weather geek

    Man, I swear, if I were one of those weirdos who gets all obsessed with weather, today would be the greatest day of my life.

  • Change is good

    Yeah, I made a change to the site. Can you tell?

  • How to spot a bill

    I have to say that the only thing that sucks more than Bil Keane’s sense of humor is paying bills.

  • Too much work

    Not too long ago I was complaining that I wasn’t working enough.

  • More snow

    It’s snowing. It’s been snowing since 7 a.m.

  • My new favorite word

    My new favorite word, for use exclusively online, and even then, only on AIM and IRC, is “fuxor.”

  • It begins

    Well it’s December 1. And as you know, that means that people start being nice to each other “because it’s the holidays.”

  • It’s gotten to that point

    OK, I’ve decided to go to Walmart today so that I can pick up some sort of solution to my problem.

  • Just a random note

    I spent the better part of tonight doing some fall cleaning of my other computer, where I keep all of my MP3s.

  • Turnoff

    "Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

  • Christmas shopping

    I’ve actually got some money this year, so I’m going to do some Christmas shopping today after work.

  • Product endorsement

    I’d just like to take this time to give a shout out to the good people at Staples, who make a fine 9"x12" clasp envelope.

  • Jobby jobs

    I decided to take a break from the norm with my resumes.

  • People, people, people…

    You know, it’s never good to hear about someone getting killed. But here’s an easy way to avoid it.

  • More geography fun

    CNN posted a link with the story about idiots, I mean people who are idiots, I mean you. The story about you, that’s it.

  • Attack of the Clones

    OK, now yesterday I said that I had more to say about the Attack of the Clones DVD.

  • I am a super sleuth

    You know, it’s staggering how easy it is to find information on people online.

  • DVD day!

    Here’s some stuff for today. And yesterday too, I guess.

  • In retrospect…

    So last night I tried to go see 8 Mile. That didn’t pan out, for various reasons. Let’s say it was poor planning.

  • Ziggy

    "If getting ahead in life is your aim … then simply showing up is the main part of the game!!"

  • More on Bil Keane

    I felt the need to beat a dead horse, just a little bit more. I promise I’m probably done after this.

  • Comics

    I should probably be saving the A material for the new project I’m working on, but I just couldn’t resist this.

  • I’ve been lazy. So sue me.

    Yeah, so I haven’t posted anything in like a month. Sue me. I’m lazy and I’ve had nothing to write about.

  • Funk dat

    I don’t think I need preferential treatment.

  • It’s 4 a.m.

    Shouldn’t I be asleep? Well, yeah, I guess I should.

  • Shit

    OK, so I went to the orthodontist and he didn’t take the retainer off.

  • A major event

    Today represents a major milestone in my life.

  • Another week

    Wow, I managed to go another week without updating. What a great way to run a daily weblog. I rule.

  • Things to listen to!

    I picked up a couple of CDs yesterday, and I highly recommend them.

  • Jobby job news

    So last night at around 10:15, I got word from Larry that I had an interview today at the place he works at.

  • Been around the world

    Just to brag, I figured I’d post a list of places that I’ve been to.

  • I think it’s finally hit me

    Either I’m just tired from not getting enough sleep, or I just really, really don’t want to go to work today.

  • Day off

    So I had today off, and I actually needed it.

  • What a day

    It wasn’t a bad day by any means.

  • Mr. Show

    Just in case nobody knows what the hell I’m talking about with all this Mr. Show stuff, I figure I’ll explain it.

  • Get ur freak on

    Go download Get ur freak on by Eels. It’s by far the superior version.

  • Movin’ on up

    So today I plan to send out my résumé for that associate editor job, and I also have a phone interview with Apple for its forthcoming King of Prussia store.

  • Theme song

    I decided that I need theme music.

  • Climbing the corporate ladder

    In an effort to get on the good side with the higher-ups at Best Buy, I’m staying late whenever they need me, and picking up shifts from other people.

  • So get this

    When I got home from work, there was a message for me that someone from Apple called me about the Apple Store that’s going to be built in King of Prussia.

  • MP3s = love

    I finally broke down last week and decided to move in

  • $$BLING$$ $$BLING$$

    Now that I’m rich and influential, I need to catch up on my music.

  • The Onion, yet again

    I just go around to looking at this week’s edition of The Onion, and it doesn’t seem to be nearly as awful as the last few weeks.

  • A week?

    Wow, I didn’t realize it had been a week

  • I’m not dead yet!

    Wow, I’ve been slacking off. Too much work and not enough weblog make Chris a productive member of society.

  • Work

    For all intents and purposes, I start work at 9 a.m. today.

  • Observations for September 3

    Aside from that thing about needing to impose our will on the rest of the world, we Americans have few obsessions. Food and television are two of them. Sports is another.

  • I got me a jobby job

    I guess this is noteworthy to post on here because this is supposed to be my record of what happens after a person graduates.

  • I hate to do this again…

    OK, this is going to be long. And while it isn’t going to be pretty, it needs to be done.

  • Now it begins

    I think it’s finally happening. The rest of my life, that is.

  • When I’m 114…

    My best friend in the whole wide world, CNN.com, tells me that the oldest living American died at age 114.

  • ?elgooG

    I just thought that this was such a cool site that I had to show it to everyone. It’s backwards-Google.

  • We’re No. 4!

    I just saw on Headline News that Penn State was ranked the #4 party school in the country.

  • Signs

    I hear a lot of people say how “scary” movies scare them.

  • From The Onion

    I know I’d take some shit for this if anybody ever read my site, but here’s another thing that’s been bugging me for a few weeks now.

  • Heat

    Summer’s all well and good, but personally I prefer cold weather.

  • Avast ye, matey!

    Software piracy will cost the computer industry at least $129 this year.

  • Mmmm… cheesesteaks…

    Man, if all those companies with jobs for me could just see how many times I check the AP Stylebook while writing this crap.

  • Saddam Hussein is a douchebag

    Everyone knows Saddam Hussein is a nut. But have you ever heard the rumors that the guy’s got like a 180 IQ?

  • The beer tent

    Ok, so every year at Old Home Week, the center of all the action is the beer tent.

  • The Anna Nicole Show

    It’s not supposed to be funny, it just is. Right. It’s not supposed to be an awful ripoff of The Osbornes, except totally lacking in any entertainment value, it just is, is more like it.

  • The fair

    The Wayne County Fair. What a piece of shit.

  • Alumni and booze

    Well, I graduated. It wasn’t a terribly exciting thing. The realization of what happened didn’t really even set in until the next day, when I was the only one left.

  • Old Home Week

    Every year, at a time picked to precisely coincide with the only day it will rain in three months, Forest City has its annual Old Home Week.

  • Did you ever injure yourself?

    Did you ever get a cut or something, and think, "Hey, I had better put a Band-Aid or something on this so I don’t get gangrene or some other similarly bad thing and die?"

  • My favorite thing…

    If there’s one thing I love, it’s drinking. And that’s one thing that Old Home Week is great for.

  • First entry

    Well this is the first entry in my new weblog. I refuse to call it a “blog.”