Chris Coleman

Well this is the first entry in my new weblog. I refuse to call it a “blog.”

If there’s one thing I love, it’s drinking. And that’s one thing that Old Home Week is great for.

Did you ever get a cut or something, and think, "Hey, I had better put a Band-Aid or something on this so I don’t get gangrene or some other similarly bad thing and die?"

Every year, at a time picked to precisely coincide with the only day it will rain in three months, Forest City has its annual Old Home Week.

Well, I graduated. It wasn’t a terribly exciting thing. The realization of what happened didn’t really even set in until the next day, when I was the only one left.

The Wayne County Fair. What a piece of shit.

It’s not supposed to be funny, it just is. Right. It’s not supposed to be an awful ripoff of The Osbornes, except totally lacking in any entertainment value, it just is, is more like it.

Why bother?

Ok, so every year at Old Home Week, the center of all the action is the beer tent.

Everyone knows Saddam Hussein is a nut. But have you ever heard the rumors that the guy’s got like a 180 IQ?

Man, if all those companies with jobs for me could just see how many times I check the AP Stylebook while writing this crap.

I promised I’d give a shout out to Missy.

Software piracy will cost the computer industry at least $129 this year.

Well, I had a good weekend.

Summer’s all well and good, but personally I prefer cold weather.

I have nothing to write about.

I know I’d take some shit for this if anybody ever read my site, but here’s another thing that’s been bugging me for a few weeks now.

I hate to have to do this, but it’s come to it.

I hear a lot of people say how “scary” movies scare them.

MTV really is crap.

I just saw on Headline News that Penn State was ranked the #4 party school in the country.

I just thought that this was such a cool site that I had to show it to everyone. It’s backwards-Google.

Most people assume, incorrectly, that it takes a shotgun or chainsaw to quickly and effectively kill the undead.

My best friend in the whole wide world, CNN.com, tells me that the oldest living American died at age 114.

I think it’s finally happening. The rest of my life, that is.

If you’re not reading Wil Wheaton’s weblog at www.wilwheaton.net, you’re missing out.

Which colossal death robot am I?

I hate it when I forget that I have this.

OK, this is going to be long. And while it isn’t going to be pretty, it needs to be done.

I guess this is noteworthy to post on here because this is supposed to be my record of what happens after a person graduates.

I’d say I’m an avid drinker, but that’s not entirely true.

Jesus, I can’t believe it’s September already.

I had my first day at Best Buy yesterday

Aside from that thing about needing to impose our will on the rest of the world, we Americans have few obsessions. Food and television are two of them. Sports is another.

Gushers would have to be the biggest scam in the history of man.

For all intents and purposes, I start work at 9 a.m. today.

Wow, I’ve been slacking off. Too much work and not enough weblog make Chris a productive member of society.

Wow, I didn’t realize it had been a week

Nothing ever just works.

I’m never going to make any money working at Best Buy.

I just go around to looking at this week’s edition of The Onion, and it doesn’t seem to be nearly as awful as the last few weeks.

Man, this working thing is giving me a serious yeast infection.

Best Buy is not a yard sale.

I got paid today. $132 of pure profit.

Today was an average day.

Normally, I have something bad to say about pretty much everything and everyone.

Today was cool.

Now that I’m rich and influential, I need to catch up on my music.

I finally broke down last week and decided to move in

Work was great today.

When I got home from work, there was a message for me that someone from Apple called me about the Apple Store that’s going to be built in King of Prussia.

In an effort to get on the good side with the higher-ups at Best Buy, I’m staying late whenever they need me, and picking up shifts from other people.

I decided that I need theme music.

So today I plan to send out my résumé for that associate editor job, and I also have a phone interview with Apple for its forthcoming King of Prussia store.

Go download Get ur freak on by Eels. It’s by far the superior version.

Just in case nobody knows what the hell I’m talking about with all this Mr. Show stuff, I figure I’ll explain it.

It wasn’t a bad day by any means.

A recap of the weekend…

So I had today off, and I actually needed it.

Either I’m just tired from not getting enough sleep, or I just really, really don’t want to go to work today.

Just to brag, I figured I’d post a list of places that I’ve been to.

So last night at around 10:15, I got word from Larry that I had an interview today at the place he works at.

Today was pay day.

So I have my second interview tomorrow for the Apple Store.

Jeebus, September went by hella fast.

I picked up a couple of CDs yesterday, and I highly recommend them.

Wow, I managed to go another week without updating. What a great way to run a daily weblog. I rule.

Today represents a major milestone in my life.

OK, so I went to the orthodontist and he didn’t take the retainer off.

There’s nothing wrong with talking up some good stuff, is there? Excellent.

Shouldn’t I be asleep? Well, yeah, I guess I should.

I don’t think I need preferential treatment.

Yeah, so I haven’t posted anything in like a month. Sue me. I’m lazy and I’ve had nothing to write about.

I should probably be saving the A material for the new project I’m working on, but I just couldn’t resist this.

I felt the need to beat a dead horse, just a little bit more. I promise I’m probably done after this.

"If getting ahead in life is your aim … then simply showing up is the main part of the game!!"

So last night I tried to go see 8 Mile. That didn’t pan out, for various reasons. Let’s say it was poor planning.

I hate it when I forget to sleep.

Here’s some stuff for today. And yesterday too, I guess.

You know, it’s staggering how easy it is to find information on people online.

OK, now yesterday I said that I had more to say about the Attack of the Clones DVD.

Man, I’m on a messed up sleep schedule.

I like to use my site as a way of bitching about other people and how stupid they are.

CNN posted a link with the story about idiots, I mean people who are idiots, I mean you. The story about you, that’s it.

You know, it’s never good to hear about someone getting killed. But here’s an easy way to avoid it.

I decided to take a break from the norm with my resumes.

I’d just like to take this time to give a shout out to the good people at Staples, who make a fine 9"x12" clasp envelope.

My friend Danielle’s site sucked so hard that I made a weblog for her, right here at the mighty illtron.com.

I’ve actually got some money this year, so I’m going to do some Christmas shopping today after work.

Being the shill that I am, I have plenty of time to ponder the motivations of my corporate overlords.

There are some fucking nutty people out there.

"Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

I’m trying to think up a list of corporate “hip” words.

I’ve decided to pay AT&T, begrudgingly.

I spent the better part of tonight doing some fall cleaning of my other computer, where I keep all of my MP3s.

But why is it growing?

Please, don’t be afraid when I tell you this.

Is that great news or what?

OK, I’ve decided to go to Walmart today so that I can pick up some sort of solution to my problem.

So did you hear the one about the stupid people?

I was just playing around in Photoshop earlier, and I came up with this…

Holy shit I worked a long day today.

Well it’s December 1. And as you know, that means that people start being nice to each other “because it’s the holidays.”

My new favorite word, for use exclusively online, and even then, only on AIM and IRC, is “fuxor.”

Here’s the view from the top.

No, I’m not talking about all the holiday crap.

I should probably post something before the day is over.

It’s snowing. It’s been snowing since 7 a.m.

You may experience some technical difficulties with illtron.com in the near future.

Not too long ago I was complaining that I wasn’t working enough.

I have to say that the only thing that sucks more than Bil Keane’s sense of humor is paying bills.

Yeah, I made a change to the site. Can you tell?

Man, I swear, if I were one of those weirdos who gets all obsessed with weather, today would be the greatest day of my life.

I’ve been overcome by ambition and some strange effects of the f’d up weather

OK, so yeah, I’m still making changes. It’s actually coming along quicker than I thought it would.

This is not an emergency.

All right, so here’s where I stand with this redesign.

I’m making progress, but some stuff just refuses to work.

OK, I don’t know exactly what I did, but my new favorites icon is working.

I’m still working on getting these problems fixed.

I’d just like to take this time to ask everyone out there reading to please, please encode your MP3s at no less than 128 kbps.

Man, for an editor I sure do write pretty damn sloppy.

I’ve nearly got this figured out! So close!

Yeah… I kick so much ass.

So I’m really making some progress with the site.

I have a big day ahead of me today.

I thought I just forgot to update yesterday, but that’s not really it.

I had a good trip to State College. It’s always a good trip to State College.

Man, that Sony Wega is sweet, sweet lovin’.

All right, so I sell stupid crap at Best Buy all day long.

Do you really pat yourself on the back when people buy the quality stuff?

One day until Christmas, not too bad.

I’d have to say that this is definitely a first.

That’s right, a rich white guy with a cowboy hat has won the Powerball jackpot.

Working and earning money, no matter how little money, is all well and good.

This is just a test™.

I made a nice change to the site.

In addition to the new way of posting comments, I also added permalinks for each entry.

I really like my web site.

I know that plenty of people complain that laws like this one violate their rights, but I really don’t give a damn what they think.

So I notice your house smells of feces. And not just monkey feces…

The new year is starting off pretty well.

I don’t do the whole resolution thing, but I really need to clean up my desktop

The best part of my trip to Philly had to be the fact that I finally got my new digital camera!

Digital photography — it’s like regular photography, only not as good and way more complicated.™

You know, the fact that I have a shitty job in and of itself doesn’t bother me that much.

If you don’t know who David Cross is, then you’re probably like most people.

I woke up approximately an hour and a half after I went to sleep, and about six hours before I intended to get up.

Unlike me, you probably spend a lot of time parked in front of the television

I was just admiring the picture I took earlier.

The RIAA honestly has no idea what they’re up against.

You know how I have a shitty job? Yeah, it just got shittier.

Saddam Hussein needs your help.

People this bad don’t get recording contracts unless something shady is going on.

Rather than sleeping, which is what I should be doing, I decided to do some work on the site.

Today marks the opening of Mac World San Francisco 2003.

I’m like fucking Gandalf… the world would just fucking implode without me to set things straight.

What kind of Mac weblog type guy would I be if I didn’t talk about Safari?

I was going to buy a car.

So uh, they approved the credit, and I can get the car.

I have to say that I’m really taking a liking to Safari.

I have no idea where my camera is.

It was in the car.

This being a weblog, and weblogs being the the type of place where stuff like this gets written, I should probably mention that Bee Gee Maurice Gibb has died.

Right now I’m using Safari on a much faster connection than mine, and I have to say that it is definitely a lot faster than Chimera.

Since I love Movable Type so much, and I had some money from failed hare-brained schemes sitting in my PayPal account, I decided to pay for this fine piece of software.

Upgrade your gray matter… 'cause one day it may matter…

I just realized how random I’ve become.

I’m testing out the auto trackback…

I must say, the Two Towers video game for PS2 is damn near as awesome as the movie.

I’ve run out of things to write about, and therefore I’m closing down the site.

If there’s one thing that pisses me off (and there’s not just one, there are many), it would have to be improperly tagged MP3s.

The New York Times has a nice article on the last game at The Vet, which will be played this Sunday.

Someone posted a comment on my post about work from earlier, and I was just going to respond in another comment, but since it was getting long, I figured I’d make a whole post out of it.

I’m trying to set up this stupid text counter, and the damn thing just won’t work

I didn’t like the idea of staying home while my friends were in State College gettin’ tore up all weekend.

So there it is. Pretty cool, huh?

Well the Golden Globes are over with

Hey everybody, it’s Beth’s birthday!

Today is MLK Day.

I really think it’s time that Best Buy took the plunge and made me in charge of everything.

This is just a test, but it’s more than that.

Just another test.

I need to get on a normal sleep schedule.

This week’s Onion isn’t bad.

Wired news has an excellent article on the end of Kevin Mitnick’s probation.

I just got a call from Rodale, who publishes Men’s Health.

Work wasn’t bad tonight. A guy gave me a $10 tip for helping him out. All I had to do was practically break my wrist getting it into his van in the 2º cold.

I returned a movie I wasn’t going to watch today, and I picked up The Bourne Identity instead.

I don’t know if this has been mentioned in the media at all, but it’s really cold outside.

Things are looking up.

OK, so I’ve only read one entry so far, but it was a good one

Hey hey! It’s me! No, I’m not dead.

I’m too tired right now to post much, but I’ll give a rundown of the last 48 hours or so.

Have you seen these people?

Weil ich mich langweile, dachte ich daß ich 'was auf Deutsch shreiben solltest.

I wonder how good my German was in that last post?

I’m not sure what’s scarier…

Here’s a general rule of thumb: If a web site says “loading” at any point, you should get the hell out of there.

My latest thought: People who refuse to drink until they turn 21 are god-damn idiots.

Actually, February isn’t all that bad.

Wish Danielle luck, and don’t try to steal her pile of money.

I drop off the face of the earth for 24 hours or so, and all kinds of crazy stuff happens!

It’s like the Wayne County Fair, but with more freaks. Well, not more freaks, just more potent freaks.

Hey, remember these freaks?

So did you hear the one about Great White killing 96 people?

How do they allow stuff like this to make it to their web site?

One of the great things about the Internet is that you can fix your mistakes.

Danielle decided to share the brief, though touching history of her web design experience. I’m left with no choice but to follow suit.

Well, they finally changed the story…

Just in case you’ve been living in a cave, I feel obligated to inform everyone that tonight’s the last episode of Joe Millionaire, or as I like to call it, the greatest series finale of all time.

I was seriously misled

I realize I’m poor, but even I can afford $10 for a CD-RW drive.

That God-forsaken CD burner just wouldn’t work.

Just a few minutes ago, I received a call from none other than Douche Bagalow himself, Matt Little.

If you’re using Movable Type on a Mac, you need Kung-Log.

OK, everybody knows that the guy with the big hair in North Korea is nuts.

I should probably be watching Joe Millionaire, but I’m not.

The story of the recovery of the banner…

Now that I think about it, this might be kind of awesome actually.

OK, my test was a failure… or a success. It’s hard to say. At any rate, here’s Danielle’s ass.

Well, he picked the brunette. I think everyone predicted the rest.

I don’t think my current pants will last much longer.

I suffered a nasty paper cut. It bled a lot.

Everyone knows that no self-respecting weekend starts any later than Thursday.

I was never more correct than when I said that no self-respecting weekend starts any later than Thursday.

It’s time to get your game faces on, people.

After that last post, I think we need to update the score.

One morning in July of 1988, my sisters woke me up and told me that we got a dog.

I want to thank everyone who commented on my post about Mike.

Danielle alerted me to this gem.

Sorry for the lack of updates, kiddies, but I’ve been extremely busy lately.

I feel so special.

Yeah, yeah, updates, whatever. I’ve got better things to do.

For the last few days, I’ve been redesigning some pages on the super-secret project, and I’m finally back to where I started.

But enough about me.

I’m definitely not holding my breath for that full-time position, so I think it’s safe to say that I’m quitting.

You never know, Brutus and Cassius might just sneak up behind you and kill you… or you might have to go to work at Best Buy.

It’s time to blow up Iraq!

This war’s not going to be over until it starts.

Al Gore appointed to Apple’s board of directors.

As a journalist who has never been employed as such, I find it hard to watch this war on TV and think about it as an American.

All right, so this war hasn’t been exactly chock full of the shock and awe that we were promised.

The shock and awe has begun.

I just thought the similarities here were striking, and felt the need to share.

I’ve never really built a dynamic site like this before, and it’s far more complicated and ambitious than anything else that I’ve done in the past.

Last night at work I attempted to pick up a really heavy TV stand box. It probably weighed about 100 lb. I am now in pain.

I should probably mention, though it is belated, that Danielle has branched off, and formed her own cult.

This one’s just creepy.

Last night, I watched the CNN crew embedded with the 3-7th infantry find and give medical assistance to a wounded Iraqi soldier near Saddam International Airport.

No, not by me, though I’ve met the Flecktones a couple times, and they’re all really cool guys.

I was looking for pictures of the Brandenburg Gate the other day, and it reminded me that I have a whole bunch of pictures of Germany.

I have to say that Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the Iraqi Information Minister gets the Illtron award for best comedy.

Read this article.

There is concern that Saddam Hussein could turn up from time to time, like some sort of evil Elvis.

I’m just testing out the new image capabilities in Kung-Log 1.4. I love this app.

Hey, I’ll be damned if it’s not my birthday!

This is kind of cool. It seems that Apple may be buying Vivendi Universal Music for possible inclusion in an upcoming online music service.

The Damn Dirty Hippie, Danielle alerted me to this nonsense.

Enough of that John Cusack stuff…

The Washington Post held an online Q&A session with Mo Rocca of The Daily Show today, and I got the first question in.

This one jumped out at me…

So are all the housewife-blogs abuzz?

This somehow eluded me for the better part of three weeks.

Hey everybody, Nate has a weblog now too!

It gives absolutely no indication as to what will happen if you steal the sticker, so I stole it.

Wow, what a great guy that Rick Santorum is.

Wow, if you haven’t read the full text of Rick Santorum’s interview with the AP, you don’t know what you’re missing.

There’s a few things on my mind, but nothing so great as to trouble you, both of my readers.

There’s nothing quite as great as banned books. Just the entire concept is amazing to me.

There’s a great interview with Cindy Cohn of The Electronic Frontier Foundation at Techfocus.

I’m doing an awful lot of this web page stuff today, when I should probably be drinking or getting fat or something.

Today is the official launch of The uberGeeks, the brainchild of Colin Devroe and Chris Fehnel.

Seriously, I do this because I feel it’s my duty.

This one is at Yahoo! News…

After five days of sleeping on various air mattresses, floors, and other non-comfortable things that people who are not in their own home tend to sleep on, I’m absolutely exhausted.

I took this quiz a few minutes ago. It’s supposed to tell you what religion you are or something.

All right, so the redesign is coming along slowly but surely.

In case you haven’t heard by now, Apple introduced a new music service on Monday that lets you buy music on a per-song or per-album basis through the new version of iTunes.

Last night I gave Best Buy my two weeks notice.

When Steve Jobs speaks, people listen; often against all logic.

I’m trying to make some changes to the site, but I’m coming up with nothing.

I’m finding it harder and harder to continue going to a job that I’ve already quit.

I expect more from the Times.

This one goes out to M3, crayz, cdevroe, and all the other geeks out there reading.

You might be wondering where the hell I’ve been.

You know what day it is, don’t you?

Well, I liked it.

Well today’s the day. I’m going to Philly.

I’m back… again!

Aah, good ol’ Philly. Things are going well here so far.

In case you didn’t hear it from Danielle, there’s a new member of the family at illtron.com.

So I don’t have the chance to get on here very often right now, nor do I have much to write about anyway.

So I’ve been in Philly for a few weeks now, and I’m still not employed.

Apparently, Illtron is too busy screwing up easy mac and cleaning the pool to grace us with his presence.

Danielle pointed a link over to this site, where it tells you about your brain or something.

OK, so this isn’t exactly the newest news, but I still think it’s fascinating.

Yeah, so I haven’t been posting much. I am aware of this.

Good times are not so far away; I can tell.

You may already know that I hate spiders.

I’ll make this quick and painless. This absolutely made my week.

I hate it when I’m wrong.

Looks like it’s working, but I just wanted to be sure…

OK, I updated Movable Type to version 2.64.

I saw the new Terminator tonight.

Well, well, well. Lookie at who got picked to help beta test TypePad.

If it doesn’t break first, this post is being sent from my phone. Pretty cool.

OK, so here’s me using TypePad, and not allowed to say much.

Hey kids, ol’ Illtron was selected as a beta tester for TypePad.

I think you’ll see me making a lot more Photo albums than I would have previously with Movable Type.

I think my TypePad weblog is really coming along nicely.

Come on people, let’s all do the right thing.

Well the temp agency called me back today — I got the position with Comcast.

I wish TypePad integrated the MTEntryIfComments plugin functionality.

Even after I made some modifications to my templates, my TypePad site is still valid XHTML.

Well, I didn’t post anything yesterday.

How long have I been unemployed now?

Well kids, it’s time for me to hit the road if I ever want to get to Arts Fest.

I got my free hot dogs, which was the bare minimum I needed for it to be a good time.

You may notice the new picture of me on this site.

Today (well, yesterday) was another one of those days where I kept looking at TypePad, yet never actually posted anything.

So tomorrow’s the big day with PennLive.com.

I knew this day would come eventually.

Homeland Security, people!

I hate coming up with titles for posts.

So I had my first day at Comcast today.

Hey everybody, it’s July 23, and that means that Danielle is 23 today!

So I survived my first week of work at Comcast.

I wonder if it’s a bad thing that I’ve already got my first paycheck planned out

I need more sleep. I’m in bed by 9 tonight. I swear.

Well, I lied about being in bed by 9 last night.

Maybe I should have mentioned this yesterday.

Apparently I was quoted in a news article, talking about the former Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Said al-Sahaf.

Well, well well. It’s that time of year again — Old Home Week.

Well, Old Home Week, er, Days was pretty lame.

If every Monday could be like this, I’d be a happy, happy dude.

I was overcome by the old temptation to bitch about someone else’s article. Here we go…

Well I went all out today and decided that TypePad is worth paying for.

Yesterday was the first day of working in the new offices for Comcast Advertising Sales, where I work, so I figure that I’ll talk about it a little bit.

Well I think PennLive has checked all of my references, so I hope to hear back from them soon regarding an offer, a second interview, or a rejection.

I’ve heard people talking about a possible change in the dress code at work

I got the job at PennLive.com!

The sort of situation we must all work together to ensure never happens.

Call me crazy…

Well people, tonight is the last new episode of Futurama.

I suddenly have next to zero traffic, and nobody has commented since last week.

Here’s a gripe… there are these great little buttons in TypePad, right above the text area where I type my posts.

Windows is a giant piece of crap. I hate it more now than I ever have in the past.

I wasn’t the only one to get hit by Microsoft’s ineptitude, I mean, that virus this week.

One of most innovative applications for Mac OS X would have to be the app formerly known as Hydra.

Well, there was no mass looting and rioting during the blackouts — except in Canada.

Just the prospect of eventually having some disposable income has got me planning out my purchases for the foreseeable future.

Hey kiddies, CNN.com is reporting that U.S. forces in Iraq have captured the ghost of Chemical Ali.

Oh, so I’m going to Cleveland with Rick and Little to see Radiohead tonight.

Seriously, they’re projecting over 13,000 heat-related deaths in France from this heat wave.

This actually has nothing to do with Erin’s foot.

This town smells like feces, and not just cow feces either.

Yeah, so Six Apart is apparently evil now, but I’m giving MT 3 a whirl just the same.

Today was Kaity’s birthday.

I was inspired by a story I read on Yahoo! News about pro-war country songs, so I decided to write something.

Ok, so there was this incredibly inane article in The Patriot-News today about this woman who likes the color purple.

I’m back, yet again.

This is not a joke. This is what I’m surrounded by.

Things to remember for the presidential debate:

Note to self: Stick to the issues, Chris!

This is just lovely.

I get the feeling that thanks to Karl Rove and his beautiful way of twisting facts, no senator can run for president anytime soon.

So the election was very likely a fraud. Big surprise.

Keith Olbermann smells it too.

It will shut a great many of you up to hear that I am working on a design for this site.

Comments are now turned on. Let the spam begin!

Getting drunk for science benefits everyone.

I want to see what happens when I ping my own site.

Happy days are here again!

Thanksgiving. What a fun time.

I can add one item to the list of things to do for the site redesign and then scratch it and another.

So I tried to get creative and set up Kung-Tunes to list my current iTunes track.

Well I finally got something done today that I had been meaning to do for months.

Ken Jennings is about to lose on Jeopardy! Here’s what’s going to happen:

So far, I haven’t gotten any comment spam here, but this incarnation of the site is still young.

So I picked up at hot Nintendo DS today.

I’m working on Danielle’s site for her.

TypeKey is everything that Movable Type is not.

It’s the time of year that I get all depressed because my lowly salary doesn’t allow me to buy whatever new device/software/service Steve Jobs has telepathically commanded me to buy.

I’m back, yet again.

There’s either very little or an infinite amount of humor in this, I can’t decide

Here’s what Little Niagara looks like in the winter.

I made it to A Week of Kindness’s first show on Saturday night.

This has so much potential for so much evil.

Larry the Cable Guy is not funny.

So a really stupid plagiarist sent an IM to Nate completely out of the blue, wanting him to write a paper on the caste system in India.

R.I.P. Frank Perdue

I’m officially declaring my candidacy.

The plural form of virus is viruses. Virii is not word.

This is where I live now.